Log in

Let's amputating!
22 October 2010 @ 10:54 pm
There's this trend where parents are giving their kids more and more 'original' names. Okay, I understand each child is a beautiful unique snowflake... But do they need to sound like something out of a second rate fantasy game? Here's how you can tell if your child's name is appropriate for the life they'll probably lead. Put it into the blanks in these sentences, then read each aloud. If your child's name sounds like it naturally fits into the evenly numbered sentences, good work, you're pretty tasteful. If it fits well into the oddly numbered sentences... Back to the drawing board, you vain egocentric pre-parent. No child is THAT special.

1) Prince(ss) __________ delivered the magical ring to his/her fairy Aunt so her scoliosis would be cured.

2) __________ bought some Spaghetti-Oh's without meatballs because he/she is a vegetarian.

3) Enchanted crystal in hand, __________ read Dr. Phil to the hydra to soothe it.

4) "No," __________'s friend said, "You shouldn't join the track team. They don't have a wheelchair division."

5) Hefting his/her broadsword, __________ cried, "We shall avenge King Amulon! Archers at the low ready! Defend Freedomtown from the Dragon Army!"

6) __________ hates Halo but loves Call of Duty and that doesn't make ANY sense, does it?

7) The King Unicorn had a fight with his unicorn wife, so he sent a carrier hawk with a letter asking __________ for advice.

8) "No I don't want a Slurpee," __________ said, "I just slammed a Dew."

9) Rumors of __________'s talent in the joust have traveled across the kingdom and drawn many opponents to this year's Joust 'n' Barbecue extravaganza. The beer garden is totally packed out.

10) After the invading hordes burned down __________'s thatched-roof cottage, he/she rebuilt it with his/her own hands because he/she has the skills to pay the bills. Queen Gwendolynyveria was so impressed she knighted him/her.

In case I haven't driven the point home, here are some helpful examples.

Names That Are Tasteful: Mark, Sarah, Jordan, Kyle, Claire

Names That Are Too Extravagant: Kavin, Leonidas, Tavien, Harmonia, Persephone
Let's amputating!

On a completely unrelated note, I feel I should mention how dear to my heart the nandemonai dance is.

Eh... I should put something non-fandom related in this entry.


Let's amputating!
16 October 2010 @ 10:22 am
...I think I just gave a foreign couple wrong directions.

On my way back from procuring coffee and breakfast (And hair dye. Easily sidetracked, whut?) a car inched up on me and freaked me the hell out, because I was thinking of that scene in the Bourne Identity where that grab team abducts a random guy on the street. Granted this was like a goddamn Volkswagen Golf, not a Super Shady Government Grab Team Van, but I have a vivid imagination. So then, this really sweet and friendly but not exactly proficient in English lady sticks her head out the window and asks, "This is where? You are where?"

I'm, um, right here...? Luckily I figured out she was trying to ask, "Where the hell am I? You from around here, kid?" That would be the American translation. Of course the American answer would be "Fuck off," but I put on my diplomacy face because she seemed really nice. And because I like giving directions. Never mind that I'm crap at it~ this is the world's misfortune, not mine.

She was trying to find Microsoft, which is actually REALLY easy to find, so I gave her simple directions (which thanks to her lack of English and my lack of Swedish or whatever language she spoke took about five minutes) which consisted of three turns and maybe ten minutes of driving depending on traffic, and sent her off with wishes of good luck and zombie avoidance and all.

...Then, I realized, saying "I'm looking for Microsoft" is like saying "I'm looking for Shin Ra" or "I'm looking for Umbrella." IT'S EVERYWHERE. There's a branch in every city. There's an office in every building. Which SPECIFIC PART do you need, lady? Should I send you to the Redmond branch, two blocks away? Or the main campus, 10 minutes away? Or the Bellevue towers?

Whatever. I'm having a good day.
Let's amputating!
I'm not a LeonxClaire fan and I also hate Taylor Swift, nonetheless... This video was really cute. And I kind of have to agree with it - stop pining after Ada, Leon! IT IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!

And since I'm indulging in music I Do Not Officially Endorse... Man, this song was popular when I was in... Sixth grade? And the video still charms me. Oh, my angry gutterpunk youth.

Okay... To round this out, I need to find a song I DO officially endorse. Just so everyone knows I have good taste in music. This video might weird me the fuck out, but I do love the song.

Let's amputating!
Last night I had yet another dream about the zombie apocalypse, and it was goddamn incredible. I am one good zombie hunter, or at least my subconscious is pretty adamant that I am. This time, I had gone to a church (it was a actually a jail that had been converted into a church, but there were still inmates there among the normal crowd) and zombies had apparently happened while everyone was in there, so they were all over outside and a couple had gotten in. So I went out to kill some zombies, and when I came back, one of the small group leaders (who ironically was Luthor from RE:Afterlife) had assigned me and one other girl to sing a duet with piano accompaniment for some church activity and wanted us to go practice. The conversation went something like this:

"Here, play this piano."

"...No. We should really think about our zombie problem. Kind of serious."





"You harlot."

Oh, my brain. I love it. So I'm feeling alot better this morning :] Which means, I can go somewhere and do something. Nice! Choices, choices now... I kicked around the international district last week. The Pike area's boring if you're not planning on spending a ton of money. UD is basically pointless if you're not there for classes. The rest of the city is either residential or business, so no going there. This pretty much strikes Seattle off the list. Kirkland is tiny and boring. Bellevue is just medium-sized boring. ...Eh. Guess I'm staying in Redmond, which is also medium-sized boring. WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIIIIIIFE what to do
Let's amputating!
14 October 2010 @ 05:55 pm
So let's try using the journal for... Journaling purposes. Original, huh? We're breaking new ground.

Having time off work feels so good. Sure, burning my hand was painful, but I also think it was some mysterious force saying, 'TRY A VACATION, YOU ASSHAT.' Sometimes we workaholics need to be slapped upside the head with logic. Or burned on the hand with water. Whatever.

Seriously, though, this cafe I'm working in is classified as a form of torture in sixteen nations, not because the work is bad but mainly because of the people I work with. This girl Allyssa who's not usually in the cafe got scheduled there the other day, so she gets on shift and says, "Wow, five cafe hours. Who'd I piss off?" ...God, motherfucker. At least, that's my theory. I was glad to see her suffer because she's a powertripping lackey that deserves to die, but I also had to acknowledge (yet again) the fact that, yes, this job is ten kinds of torment. Burns being only one. Really, hell has nothing on Seattle's Best Coffee.

On to happier issues, my hair is currently becoming light auburnish red. Sort of a carmelly color. I feel good about this. Rinsing the dye out in about fifteen minutes. And then, having salmon for dinner and reading the rest of The Umbrella Conspiracy and playing RE4, and perhaps Crisis Core too, and then maybe breaking out the ink bottle and painting something. Lovely.

Oh, and I should finish cleaning my room. And the rest of the house, and think about what kind of flowers would look best on the dining room table. By 'look best' I mean 'communicate LIVE HERE LIVE HERE to the prospective roommate who'll be visiting Sunday.' I think I'll bake something, too. Something with cinnamon. Apple cobbler, anyone? :]

Also: I found a recipe for homemade eggnog. Apparently you can use just about any type of alcohol you like. Brandy, bourbon, rum, and whiskey are popular choices. I wonder if coffee liqueur would be too heavy? This must be tested...
Let's amputating!
Title: You Can Stand Under My Umbrella
Fandom: Resident Evil 4
Genre/Rating/Pairings: Humor, G, no pairings
Summary: Working as a bodyguard didn't turn out to be so bad for Leon.

Title: The Zombie Hunter's Guide to Social Science
Fandom: Resident Evil 4/Resident Evil: Degeneration
Genre/Rating/Pairings: Humor, PG, LeonxAngela
Summary: Zombies, Leon can handle just fine... But humans? That might be a bit much.

And on that note welcome to my new home, Zombie Armada.